All posts are copyright Barbara Rogers 2018. Please ask if you wish to share, and give attribution to the author.My ancestry and more personal notes are now at a revised version of "When I Was 75."

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Love and marriage

True Love or what?  I  remember saying to a friend, that's the man I'm going to marry.
Turned out not to be true however...I think he had other ideas.

Thanks to Garrison Keilor's Writer's Almanac, I am copying this poem from a few days ago.

Love at First Sight
by Jennifer Maier

You always hear about it—
a waitress serves a man two eggs
over easy and she says to the cashier,
That is the man I’m going to marry,
and she does. Or a man spies a woman
at a baseball game; she is blond
and wearing a blue headband,
and, being a man, he doesn’t say this
or even think it, but his heart is a homing bird
winging to her perch, and next thing you know
they’re building birdhouses in the garage.
How do they know, these auspicious lovers?
They are like passengers on a yellow
bus painted with the dreams
of innumerable lifetimes, a packet
of sepia postcards in their pocket.
And who’s to say they haven’t traveled
backward for centuries through borderless
lands, only to arrive at this roadside attraction
where Chance meets Necessity and says,
What time do you get off?

"Love at First Sight" by Jennifer Maier from Dark Alphabet. © Southern Illinois University Press, 2006.

Did you ever think that that was your true love when you first saw or met him/her?
I may have missed out on that one man, but I think I did make a good decision about the one I finally did marry.  Unfortunately that didn't mean I could live with him.  And apparently that happened several times in my life.

Big congrats to those who persevere through years and years of marriage!

But falling in love is something completely different, I think.


  1. I know several cases of That's the man I'm going to marry. In all three, she did and then they eventually divorced. I had been in school with my husband of almost 53 years for five years before we started dating, never once looking at him and envisioning a future together.

  2. Attraction is hormonal.

    Feeling of love, can follow attraction, or not.

    Marriage is a commitment.

    Even after "the tingle" has passed, the commitment is there, if people hold this view.

    Ohhhh, and... If one marries a so-called-"good" and enlightened person!!!! Hormones don't always point in that direction. >,-)

    My 2 cents...

    Luna Crone
    Married 58 years, this November

  3. The first man I thought was my true love was (alas) married. So nothing came of it. But I always wonder...what if I had actually pursued him? Or given him a hint? When I first met the man I married, I didn't pay much attention, certainly never expected to marry him. And here we are, together for 45 years.


Looking forward to hearing from you! Since I didn't know the 1000+ people who supposedly looked at my blog the other day, I'm back to moderating comments. If that doesn't help, I don't know why blogger doesn't have a filter that stops this hacking...